My bad
I went for a little solitary walk downstairs. & I saw my entire four years of memories standing so still in front of me. I can't help it but look into Bendemeer Secondary. I saw the classrooms I used to sit in. All of a sudden, so much things just flashed through my mind. I really felt sorry for thrashing my own life with so many trusted friends around me then. Now that I have lost practically most of them, I felt so uncomfortable. I knew it's all my fault. I just wished everything could just turn back to where is started. If it really can turn back, I promise, I swear, I will treasure all of you. I miss mojo.
I know it is quite random that I bring up this topic up once again. However, I can never let this topic continue to lay in the secluded area on my mind. I never keep things to myself. Everyone knows. & because of that, it gives me so much trouble and I lose the trust of my friends one by one. Since the day we graduated, we barely meet up anymore. & about one week ago, one of them called me to wish me a Happy Birthday. I was so touched I nearly cried in class. That was the first time I talked to her in months. I felt so guilty for not cherishing her enough. All of a sudden, I felt so ashamed of myself. I just wished everything was back to three years ago.
I know there is this particular lady who would just think I am practising hypocrisy again. What to do? All my bad. Perharps we need more time.
All right. I have no idea what brings me to typed all those above. I have grown up, perharps. Anyway, if things never go back, I am still satisfied with what I have now. Well, maybe humans shouldn't look back. Instead, we should just bring the past to present, and try to heal it. I just felt that I haven't complete the puzzles I had left last year. & I thought I could do it this year, however, some things are just too late to be amended after time past.
So, if you have any doubts or things you think you need to finish up. You ought to do them fast. Don't be like me in situations like that. Trust me, you won't feel good.
WAIT ! Don't mistaken, I am not emotional. I am feeling okay. I just thought I need to say it to someone. That's all, I am still as bubbly. =)
I know it is quite random that I bring up this topic up once again. However, I can never let this topic continue to lay in the secluded area on my mind. I never keep things to myself. Everyone knows. & because of that, it gives me so much trouble and I lose the trust of my friends one by one. Since the day we graduated, we barely meet up anymore. & about one week ago, one of them called me to wish me a Happy Birthday. I was so touched I nearly cried in class. That was the first time I talked to her in months. I felt so guilty for not cherishing her enough. All of a sudden, I felt so ashamed of myself. I just wished everything was back to three years ago.
I know there is this particular lady who would just think I am practising hypocrisy again. What to do? All my bad. Perharps we need more time.
All right. I have no idea what brings me to typed all those above. I have grown up, perharps. Anyway, if things never go back, I am still satisfied with what I have now. Well, maybe humans shouldn't look back. Instead, we should just bring the past to present, and try to heal it. I just felt that I haven't complete the puzzles I had left last year. & I thought I could do it this year, however, some things are just too late to be amended after time past.
So, if you have any doubts or things you think you need to finish up. You ought to do them fast. Don't be like me in situations like that. Trust me, you won't feel good.
WAIT ! Don't mistaken, I am not emotional. I am feeling okay. I just thought I need to say it to someone. That's all, I am still as bubbly. =)
posted by sourcreamsocks at 2:07 PM
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